Ministry not manipulation is the bedrock upon which the Equipped to Serve training is built. Spending time discussing this fundamental is imperative to setting the ground work for the rest of the training. The trainer must bring the trainees back again and again and teach the rest of the Fundamentals in light of our goal being to minister NOT manipulate.
Any of the skills taught to volunteers can be used to either minister or manipulate. We all have had the experience of being manipulated by good questions or another person's well-intentioned efforts to solve our problems. Trainers must help trainees distinguish between ministry and manipulation. The time your spend here in your training will pay off in other sessions and give the trainees a foundation to apply throughout the rest of the training. It also provides a yardstick by which to measure trainees' effectiveness in applying the rest of the Fundamentals.
How do we as trainers help our trainees in this area? Here are a few suggestions. They are not in any particular order. Choose based upon your own skill level. Be sure you give this topic adequate time in your training. Skimping on this topic will end up hurting you in the end.
Discuss trainees personal experience with ministry and manipulation.
Ask each trainee to recall an experience where they felt manipulated and one where they felt ministered to. Trainees need not share the details of the experience. The purpose of recalling an experience is to do the following:
Compare and contrast feelings and behavior experienced and observed in each situation. Write down the discussion on a flipchart with manipulation on one side of the chart and ministry on the other. There are great questions for discussion in the Volunteer Manual and space to write down the input from other trainees. Encourage trainees to use these pages and write down others' comments and insights.
Choose an experiential exercise.
Look through the Leader's Manual and find an experiential exercise that will help trainees experience ministry or manipulation for themselves.
Use the following quote:
"Meddlesomeness is the very opposite of helpfulness, for
it consists of forcing yourself into another as opposed
to opening yourself as a refuge to the other. "
George MacDonald
Discussion Questions:
- Who has had the experience of someone forcing themselves into you?
- What did the forcing look like? How did it feel to you? What was the outcome? How did you resist the forcing?
- How do you know when someone is opening themselves as a refuge to you? How does it feel? What was the outcome? How might this create an environment for change?
- How might we be tempted to force ourselves on our clients? What are the potential consequences? How will we know when we are forcing ourselves into another?
- How might we use what we have learned here to help us recognize when we might be slipping into forcing ourselves on others or manipulation?
Trainer Shares A Personal Story
Share a story of a time when you manipulated or forced yourself on another. Most importantly, share the resulting consequences and what you learned from the experience.
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